So I’m writing a research proposal for something important and I feel like a total hack because I haven’t studied the issue in academia and there are so many other people out there that are saying things so similar to what I want to say and study and I just can’t …. I don’t know how to write this thing anymore. I’ve been stuck on it for two months now. I swore I’d have it finished by the end of April. And every time I open the document I just stare at it and see what it is and what it could be and what it isn’t. Thing is, it’s just plugging in my citations now. It’s the second draft, not the final one. It shouldn’t be this hard.
Guess what? It’s the end of April. It’s still not done.
How can I improve my life when I’m so stuck on what I’m working on and failing at it because it’s one of the things that will help me the most and I’m effing terrified of what will happen if I don’t get this done the way it needs to be because I can’t live like this anymore?
Oh, let’s see. My life is …. meh. Really meh. So I sit and do not work on the stuff I need to be. No, I sit and read fanfic or dream about Saturday and my lovely ice skating lessons.
I should be:
~working on a massive project that has the possibility of changing my life
~working on my original stories
~working on my Avengers fic series that hasn’t had anything posted in ages, that I have the drafts written for and need to freaking revise, and I just go *poke, poke* at because of Item One and other reasons.
~exercising every day because of above mentioned ice skating lessons. I need to get my body back in order and out of its ‘you’re a former dancer, stand tall and straight’ and get into the ‘you’re a figure skater, bend your knees so you stop falling over!’
I’m forgetting stuff. I know I’m forgetting stuff. Anyone want to add things to my list?
So there was a fairly large con in my city this weekend. My friends and I did a group costume, and I was a lady Ninth Doctor. My friend L. was my TARDIS in a freaking awesome dress. We also had a Rose and a Donna.
So one of the best parts of the con wasn’t a really good Nine just nodding at me and saying “Doctor” regardless of me being a woman. It wasn’t people recognizing me as the Doctor even when it was just ‘Rose’ and I. It wasn’t the gorgeous Elsa print I bought. No. It was the “fight” a Ten and I got into about how Nine treated Rose, how Ten treated Rose, and how we treated the TARDIS. It was the conversation that went (slightly out of character):
Ten: You acted like a dick-
Me: I can’t be a dick. I have boobs!
Cue laughter from pretty much everyone standing around as the two of us tried and failed to stay in character. We re-grouped, continued our ‘argument’ with added input from my TARDIS and my Rose, and were subsequently interrupted by a Dalek.
The whole interaction made my entire day. :-D
I has a Frozen. :-)
So I was going to make cottage pie for work next week (I do large batch meals), but then I made a mistake. I went on the ‘French Toast’ tag. Because I wanted to, because I like looking at pictures of food and finding new recipes to attempt.
I think I just mind end up making French Toast instead.
I changed my theme. I like it a lot better. :-)
So I took a vacation from work so I could do all the things I needed to have time to do and didn’t. Because work means going to work and not staying home and working on things to hopefully improve my future.
I forgot about the Olympics.
Needless to say, my entire To Do list is now precisely two items long. One, watch all the figure skating. Two, go ice skating.
Please ignore any high-pitched, stressed-out ramblings from this little corner of the Internet. Thanks!
I have way too much to do and not enough time.
Why does everything make me want to cry? And I mean everything.
Read something funny? Cry.
Read something sad? Bawl.
Talk to someone for five minutes, having a lovely conversation, be alone for not even a minute after the conversation ends and the person walks away? Cry.
Someone wants to have a conversation? Cry.
Look at a picture of something pretty? Cry.
See something I enjoy? Cry.
I don’t know whether it’s the stress, hormones, a mix? I’m just tired of my default state being “Let’s pretend to be happy all. the. time. when what I really want to do is latch onto someone and cry myself out in their arms.”
I need to buy myself a tiny whiteboard so I can write my daily ‘to do’ list on it. Then I will take great satisfaction when I cross things off as I get the tasks accomplished. And at the end of the night, erase the thing to start all over the next day.
That is how I will get this monumentally crazy thing done. I have way too much to do, nowhere near enough time to do it all, and I’m losing my mind to the stress.
Anyone have any good methods of de-stressing? Right now all I have is tea, reading fanfic, and watching Babylon 5.
Everyone probably knew this was coming.
I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS COMMERCIAL
I was just thinking about these commercials and how I wanted one on my tumblr, and now here it is!
Awkward confession time: whenever I feel like the world is shit and I can’t keep dealing with it, I watch this and/or read about cool science things to remind me that it’s not all bad.
i really love this movie
Everyone thinks of [fairy tales] in terms of poisoned apples and glass coffins, and forgets that they represent girls who walked into dark forests and remade them into their own reflections.
*flails* Stockings went live and I have so many more responses than I ever thought I’d get. And I only posted two fills! I feel so inadequate now….
Not really. I do have good reasons - I got sick for over three weeks and work was its usual holiday crazy. But still!
*flails some more* Now I have to respond. What do I say?!
(Please ignore the crazy person posting this. Thanks!)
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